Confessions of a Fat Chick











{June 13, 2008}   CFC is Fashionable

Bear with me, please, while I indulge for a minute.

Last night, I was looking at some stats for this blog on the WordPress dashboard (control panel).  We are very close to having 8,000 visits!  As I write this, we’re at 7,936.

In talking with a friend via Yahoo Messenger last night, I said I wondered how long it would be before we had 10,000 hits.  Then I realized I could go into the dashboard and find the stats.

We get around 1,000 hits a month, give or take.  That’s actually an average figure from the time I started this blog.

It made me start thinking, though.  I’ve been dabbling with Confessions of a Fat Chick as a nonfiction book.  Apparently I need to get a lot more serious about it.  This tells me there is a market for it.  I just need to get off (on?) my butt and get serious about writing it.

In case you’re wondering, the posts that get the most visits are:

What Face Shape DO You Have? (2,028 views)
Haircut/Hairstyle (557 views)
Fat Chicks in Blue Jeans (252 views)

Perhaps not-so-coincidentally, the top search terms that bring people to this blog have to do with face shape, fat faces, and the like.

Over time, I have also received several e-mailed messages with questions or comments.  I’ve done my best to answer them, either here or privately in e-mail.  Ones I could not answer, I have tried to give referrals for. 

Being a fat chick is more than weight, body size, makeup, or clothes.  It’s also attitude.

Thanks for helping to make CFC fashionable.  May it continue to be so.



{June 11, 2008}   Weight a Minute: The Clue Stick

I’m getting hit with the proverbial clue stick.  The last time it happened, it was about writing.

I’ve decided I’m going to go back on the South Beach Diet.  I just haven’t started yet, for some reason. 

Different people around me keep talking about it, mentioning they’re going to start it, have been on it for a while and doing good, offering up some recipes for it, and so on.

Even my mom has mentioned it.  I don’t know if she’s actually going to go on it or not, but it’s just kind of funny that she mentioned it too.

In this house, it’ll take some effort.  We typically have something rather starchy/carb-loaded for dinner for some reason.  I guess while helping with the main meal, I’ll be doing something similar in flavor but different in emphasis.

Too bad they got me some sausage, egg, & cheese breakfast biscuits from Schwan’s last night.



{June 9, 2008}   Makeup Minute: Application

Have you ever thought about how you put your makeup on?

You can’t watch an hour of TV without seeing at least one anti-aging skin care commercial.  Have you ever wondered how much of the aging we do to ourselves, not just by sun exposure and daily life, but how we apply our makeup?

If you pay attention to how you put on makeup or apply your skin care products, you’ll notice you typically pull the skin down.  Pulling skin down causes sagging and wrinkles.

Instead, try applying your products in an upward motion.  Rub/apply up and out. 

I’m not saying that application will prevent all wrinkles, because goodness knows it won’t, but it will help slow the process down.



{June 6, 2008}   Fashionable Friday: Seams

If you have any extra weight around you middle, you need to be aware of seams, particularly in shirts and dresses.

You’ve no doubt seen those cute shirts, some with lace detailing, on the rack at many stores.  When you get up to it, though, there’s a seam that runs right under the bustline.

Don’t even touch it.

I don’t know who decided that empire waists — even in shirts — were a good idea for overweight people.  I would love to know, though, who decided it was a good camouflage for those of use who have a belly.  I’d love to know so I could get a group of people together and go knock some sense into ‘em.  *s*

The only people I have seen who look “good” in an empire waist shirt or dress are people who are thin as sticks with no meat on their bones at all.  Those waistlines just make the rest of us look hugely pregnant whether we are or not. 

Excuse me, I know I’m the size of a small elephant.  I really don’t need that fact emphasized, thankyouverymuch!

Princess seams are another one to be aware of.  These are usually good since they are slimming.  They don’t, however, work well with light-weight fabrics. 

Light cotton shirts with these seams look puckered or wrinkled.  Heavier fabrics work better.  That just basically means you’ll find very few princess-seamed shirts in the summer.

Sometimes, depending on how structured the seams are, you might need to go up one size in order for the shirt to fit without any gapping between buttons.

Once upon a time, I had a pink dress with white cuffs and a white collar that had princess seams.  If I remember correctly, it was a crepe-y material.  I think I eventually sold it.

All this to say, just be aware of the seams on the clothes as you go shopping.



{June 4, 2008}   Weight a Minute: It’s Decided

As if there was any question that needed to be decided.  I said once before that I need to do something, so I am.

Or will. 

Soon.

Regardless of whether or not I find my South Beach Diet book, I’m going to start back on that.  I remember enough of it that I can do it without the book to back me up.  At least, I can for a while.

I’m going to start walking regularly too.  If I don’t walk outside (which I need to do so I can take my dog for a walk), I have a DVD of Walk Off the Pounds.  I did well with that before.

If I do so well with things “before,” why do I stop doing them?  Am I inherently that lazy that I don’t want to make the effort for my health?  (Especially since I’m looking at having to get some med refills.)

Um.

Let’s not go there right now.  I’m a bit afraid to look too closely at that answer.



{June 2, 2008}   MakeUp Minute: PRE-MakeUp

In all the talk about makeup, cosmetics, and color, there is an underlying essential that, to my way of thinking, doesn’t get enough attention.

Skin care.

Let’s face it (pun intended), regardless of how much or how little makeup you wear, if you don’t take care of your skin, it won’t look as good as it can.

Two things everyone needs regardless of skin type: A good cleanser and a good moisturizer.

Let me guess.

“Moisturizer?  I don’t need moisturizer.  My skin’s oily, not dry!”

Even people with oily skin need moisturizer.  In fact, a lot of oiliness is caused by your skin being too dry and your pores overcompensating for that dryness.

I know.  It didn’t make sense to me when I first heard it either.  Actually, it still doesn’t.

Be that as it may, yes, everyone needs a moisturizer.  However, not everyone needs the same kind/intensity of moisturizer.

My mother, for example, uses what she calls “pink gook.”  It’s actually Mary Kay’s extra emollient night cream.  It used to come in a jar.  Now it comes in a tube.  I use the beComing (from Avon)night and day moisturizers for dry skin.  The point is, what I use doesn’t work well for my mom and vice versa.  (Though if I’m a bad Jen and don’t do my skin care like I should, sometimes I do have to use her pink stuff for a couple days to get my skin back in shape.)  Chances are, it won’t work for you either. 

Your best bet, without experimenting and wasting money, is to have a skin care consultation.  Check at the cosmetics counter at Macy’s or Dillards, if there’s one by you.  Or go to a Merle Norman cosmetics distributer/store.  Mary Kay and Avon do very personalized consultations. (Mary Kay reps, please correct me if I’m wrong on anything I say about MK, ok?)

Get the skin care under control and your makeup will go on smoother and look better.  An added bonus? You can help fight off signs of aging by taking better care of your skin.



{May 26, 2008}   Happy Memorial day

I hope you have had a very good weekend with your friends and family and took time to thank or otherwise honor those who have served our country.

I’ll get back on track with this blog later in the week with “Weight a Minute” on Wednesday.



{May 9, 2008}   Camouflage

It’s not just for hunters and soldiers anymore.

No, I am not — repeat, I am not — suggesting you go out and buy some fatigues or the like.

Everyone has places on their body they don’t like or aren’t comfortable showing.  Especially fat chicks.  (Remember, this term encompasses anyone who is or sees themselves as “fat.”  It is not meant to be derogatory in any way.)

The best way to hide those places is through camouflage.

Suppose you don’t like your tummy (which is my biggest [pun intended] problem area).  What do you do?

Here’s something you don’t do.  Avoid empire waists, whether in a dress or a shirt.  If you pick up something at a store that looks “cute,” but the waist seam would be just below the girls, do yourself a favor and put it back

I have yet to see anyone who looks good wearing that type of dress/shirt.

Twin sets (yes, they have summer twin sets that won’t be too hot) provide good camouflage for your stomach.  The same idea applies with jackets and blazers in the fall/winter.

What if, on the other hand, you want to hide your upper arms?  That one is easier than hiding your midsection.  Avoid sleeveless shirts, tank tops alone, and cap sleeves.

If you don’t like your calves, don’t wear capris.  They tend to stop at the widest point of your calves, drawing attention to them.  Instead, wear shorts, which make your legs look longer and don’t draw attention straight to your calves, or long pants.  Skirts, similarly, should not stop at mid-calf.  They should generally be knee-length for the best effect.

I could go on, but by now, I think you’re getting the idea.



{May 7, 2008}   Weight a Minute: I’ve Got to Do Something

I know my emphasis on this blog is not weight loss, weight gain, getting in shape, or anything like that.  However, I’ve reached a point where I’ve got to do something.

When I was getting ready to go to a writers’ conference this past weekend, I found out one of the shirts I had bought didn’t fit.  It was too tight across the chest and the stomach.  That would definitely not be a good thing. 

I tried on three or four different shirts that I had worn last year.  They were all too tight in the same places the new shirt was.

Evidently, I should have bought the new shirt a size larger.

I engaged in a little hopeful camouflage.  I wore a black tanktop under the new top and wore that one as a jacket of sorts.  It worked out.  It looked nice.  But I really do need to do something.

I wanted to maintain if not lose.  Wearing a women’s (translation: plus) size 22/24 (did I really just admit that?), I don’t want to go up.

What’s a fat chick to do?

Once upon a time, I was on the South Beach Diet.  Truthfully, it was a modified version because my doctor didn’t want me to do phase one because of my diabetes.

On that diet, my blood sugars did very well and I lost weight, almost without trying.  I guess that means I need to either find my SBD book or plunk down the money for another one.

As a side note, I honestly did better on SBD than I did on the Weight Watchers plan, though I did lose weight on it as well.



{May 5, 2008}   To MakeUp or Not to MakeUp

I’m not talking about relationships here.  I’m talking about what you may or may not be putting on your face.

I went through a period where I didn’t wear any makeup.  I didn’t look bad, but I didn’t look good.  I looked…okay.

If you apply your makeup heavily, at best, you look too made-up.  At worst, you look like a clown.

The best makeup looks natural.  Depending on the season and your skin, that might mean using a foundation.  Sometimes you can get away with only powder, blush, and lipgloss.  That’s actually my favorite way to go.

This weekend, at a conference, I overheard several women make comments about how they hated the hassle of doing makeup.  I didn’t say anything, but I wanted to say they were doing it wrong, then.  Makeup should never take more than five minutes and certainly should never be a hassle.

The next time you’re ready to head out the door, ask youself the question, “To makeup or not to makeup?”  If you’re just going to get the mail, there’s no need for makeup.  On the other hand, even if you’re just going to the corner store, put on a little makeup, even if it’s only powder, blush, and lipgloss, like I mentioned above.



et cetera