Joanne at Life in the Middle talked about controlling your responses, among other things, in her post. (She was also a good blog chain participant and summarized the preceding blogs in the chain; I’m not quite that good, however.) While she talked about that in terms of flame wars, I thought it applied well here also in our quest(s) to be chic chicks.
If you’re overweight any at all, I know you’ve heard any number of insults. Depending on where we are in our struggle, it’s tempting to tell the insult-er where to go or what to do, or both. Another reaction, just as justifiable, is to say nothing and let it stew and fester, eating away at your self-esteem.
Don’t do either one.
If you want to convey an image of being a chic chick, you can’t go running off at the mouth. Nor can you let it fester. Controlling your response to being called, for example, a fat ass, is not only verbal but emotional.
Yes, it hurts. Yes, you want to fight back or go hide in a hole. Giving in to either one is akin to taking a step back in your progress, though. You want to be a chic chick. You want to be sophisticated. You want improved self-esteem.
Twist it around a bit. Take it as a complement. You were noticed. So it wasn’t in a good way, but you can make it one.
Hold your head high and be proud of your assets.
And now I pass the baton to Williebee.
A Thoughtful Life
Gillian’s Food History
Getting Confused and Coming All Undone
Life in the Middle
So You Want to be a Chic Chick
Williebee
Twisted Fantasies
It Had To Be Said
Finding Boddie
Virtual Wordsmith
Random Acts of Unkindness
Chocolate for Your Brain
Virginia Lee: I Ain’t Dead Yet!
Having faith in yourself and considering the source of the attention is the way to go. Most people say and do negative things to make themselves feel better. It typically has very little to do with the victim.
I never talk back. I try to find compassion for the speaker, knowing that s/he is in enough pain that s/he has to lash out at others in order to feel good. What a sad state to be in. Far sadder than carrying some extra pounds.
[...] So You Want to be a Chic Chick [...]
Beautifully said. I always find it amazing (in a bad way), that people can be so cruel. We come in all different shapes, but we are all FEELING people at the core. If nothing else, people need to activate that filter between their heads and their mouths. Not everything you think needs to be SAID!
And kudos to you for looking for the sophisticated response. There is no need to sink to their level.
I really don’t get those comments much. But I’d love to have a comeback ready, something like, ‘You know, inside me there’s a skinny blonde screaming to get out. Wanna join her?’ Bwah-hah-hah-ha!
What does make me crazy are all the ads, especially this time of year, for every nutty weight-loss idea out there. They try to make you feel guilty, not so you’ll lose weight, but just so you’ll give them money. When the newly-thin people tear up pictures of themselves and say ‘I don’t know who that person was,’ I see red. It’s you, you moron, just with some weight. You’re still the same person inside.
FANTASTIC Blog, Jen.
I read this one earlier, and couldn’t think of anything to add or say, you said it all so succinctly and beautifully.
I still can’t think of anything profound to add.
I feel like this blog post could be expanded into a short article for a women’s magazine.
Happy Holidays!
An excellent response. I was on the receiving end of fat insults when I was younger and once I lost the weight, the fat insults turned into slut stabs because they didn’t have anything else to go on. It’s something that still lingers but I don’t let it affect me like it used to. Words are words and they only affect you if you allow them to.
I don’t get insults like that. I get medical advice. Sigh. People can be strange.