Today we have a guest post from Beth Bartlett with a book review of Such a Pretty Fat.
“Other than the exploding underwear, I’m pleased about the work I did today.”
For most of us, that line can sum any good day, but in Jen Lancaster’s weight loss memoir, Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist’s Quest to Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie is Not the Answer, it means even more. Lancaster goes from feeling that she’s ‘fiiiine,’ yet still sweats while she eats, to enduring numerous diet plans, from Atkins to Weight Watchers, and finally finding a smaller ass with, horror of horrors, a blonde personal trainer named Barbie.
This book is fast, funny, and should be required reading for every plus-size princess out there. As I’m also halfway on my journey out of the queen-size clothes, I found myself nodding like a bobblehead every time she discovered another truth along the road, from forbidden food cravings to her first yoga workout that scared the UPS guy, and even the ultimate secret: you have to like what you’re eating to succeed, and love who you are the whole way.
I did learn that this book should not be read in public places; her vivid entries about personal training with Barbie (“I wonder how much it would cost to have her killed”) caused me to shake and sputter uncontrollably, scaring a German Shepherd, two toddlers, and several soccer moms at the park. There’s plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, including her observations about Jenny Craig and her biting letter to the JustMySize.com customer service team. She’s honest about the difficulty of what she does along the way, but she keeps plugging along, eventually ditching what doesn’t work and reveling in achievements like finally being able to run on the treadmill.
The exploding underwear, a side effect of digging out long-lost skinny clothes, then forgetting why we discarded them in the first place, is actually a happy moment; even when your bra pops out its own peep show, slap on some duct tape and keep that workout going. Although she goes from confident fat girl to insecure dieter and finally to a healthier, fitter person, by the end of the book her journey isn’t over. I hope there is a sequel in the works, because there’s so much ground to cover (no pun intended) and she’s one of the few brave enough to lay it all out there.
I am working to make this more than a blog and turn it into an interactive site. There have been several requests for this, so I’m trying to accommodate as much of the requests as I can.
In the meantime, additions of new blog posts might continue to be slow.
Thank you.
A few days ago, a friend of mine went to the doctor. Her main purpose was to see what help he might be able to give her in losing weight.
She has tried Weight Watchers, over-the-counter diet aids, prescription medicine (from a different doctor), and diet and exercise on her own. She has gone to Curves and a locally-owned gym. She has exercise equipment at her house that she has used.
The doctor she went to, although he was “very nice,” said her only option was gastric bypass.
I fail to see how that is an option for her. As I understand it, it’s for people who eat massive amounts or constantly. She doesn’t do either one of them. She — and I — also knows about some of the complications that can come about because of such a surgery. She also knows the surgery is no guarantee about not regaining the weight.
Personally, I think she has the discipline and determination that she wouldn’t regain it, but that’s neither here nor there. My concern is why would a doctor tell someone that drastic surgery is their “only op
Sometimes when the calendar flips over to a new year, I wish it were possible to wipe the slate clean and start over.
Oh, it’s a new year? I’d like a new body, please.
Or a new job.
Or a new wardrobe.
Or… You get the idea.
It’s no secret that we’ve got to make do with what we’ve got. Accept the best and change the rest.
Along with the new year, there are some issues I feel like I’m finally ready to address. I honestly like who I am. I don’t care what someone else thinks nearly as much as I used to. (Notice I didn’t say I don’t care at all. I’m not about to start lying here.)
What I don’t like is how some of my clothes fit. I could just go out and buy new clothes, but I’ve decided it’s time for me to start getting in better shape.
I’m not doing it because someone has said I need to or because I should.
I’m doing it for me.
What is something you’re doing just for yourself this year regardless of what you’ve been told or what you “should” do?
Most of the time, when I get comments on this blog, i reply to them privately. However, sometimes I take them to use as educational moments. This is one of them.
Most of you who read/comment here know about the philosophy behind the blog. One reader apparently does not. I will not give his/her name, but here is their comment, as it was originally posted:
are you fat if you are go get some help im not bein nasty
The thing of it is, even though people who say/post/think these kinds of things honestly believe they’re not being hurtful or nasty, they are.
It’s an attitude of “it’s your fault so get over it.”
For many of us who are overweight, unless there is an underlying medical condition, our weight isn’t a matter of being lazy. Many times, it’s a matter of self-image, self-acceptance, and self-esteem.
No, they are not all the same, although there can be some similarities. Merriam-Webster.com gives some good definitions.
self-image noun : one’s conception of oneself or of one’s role
self-acceptance noun : acceptance of or in oneself inherently
self-esteem noun : a confidence and satisfaction in oneself
I don’t know this because I’m a psychologist, counselor, or doctor. I know this because I’ve been there, in many cases, I’m still there, and I have face-to-face friends who are as well.
I have discussed some of my ideas relating to this with some psychiatrists and psychologists. They agree. No, I will not reveal their names on this blog. Much of what they say will be included in the Confessions of a Fat Chick book that is still in progres.
Even if someone does go to a doctor to “get help,” doctors aren’t always helpful. I just had a conversation with a friend about this exact thing. If you have an underlying medical condition that contributes to your weight, so you go to a doctor for help with it and they advise you to get the lap-band or gastric bypass, is that helpful?
Just because someone is overweight doesn’t mean they need dramatic surgical intervention.
I know I’m overweight — probably fat, but that’s a word I’m learning should not be in my vocabulary for my own self-acceptance/esteem issues — but that doesn’t mean I’ve hung out a “help wanted” sign. The same goes for anyone else in a similar situation. Unsolicited advice like “get help” tends to worsen the feelings rather than being helpful, whether it’s intended as “nasty” or not.
You know the kind of day I’m talking about, right?
It wasn’t a 3-jean day, but it was a definite “I’m-just-a-fat-cow” day.
How do you get past those moments and continue on with your day as a productive member of society when you’d rather sit in the house with a bowl of ice cream?
Here are three tips.
Put your makeup on.
Let me guess: You’re thinking, “It’s one of those days and you want me to put on makeup??”
Yes. I do. And I mean it, too. There’s a reason for this. When you put makeup on, you take time for yourself. You focus on making yourself look good. By the time you’re done, you start to feel like you’re worth it.
And you are!
You don’t have to put on full makeup. Use one of my shortcuts. Put on powder, blush, and lipgloss. If you feel funny without eyeshadow, use your blush as your eyeshadow, too. It can pull double-duty.
Heck, I figure as long as I have my favorite lipgloss, I can handle pretty much anything life throws at me, even a fat-cow day.
Wear your favorite feel-good outfit.
What clothes do you have that you wear that make you feel not just good, but damn good? Something where you’re sizzling hot and you know it?
A power suit? A little black dress? Jeans and a knock-out blazer/jacket?
Who cares if you don’t really have somewhere to go to wear that particular outfit. Do it anyway. The theory here is the same as putting on makeup. When you look good and you know you look good, you feel good. You feel like you’re worth it.
And after a while, the fat-cow feeling goes away.
Wallow in it.
Let’s face it, no matter what we do, sometimes the feeling persists even though we would much rather it didn’t.
Give yourself some time, no more than a day, to wallow in it. If you have the day off work, put on your sweats, have your ice cream, and just let it be. (This is the one-and-only time you’ll see me advocating wearing sweats.)
After a day of wallowing in it, you’ll be sick of the feeling and — maybe — sick of yourself. You’ll be motivated to feel better the next day.
And you will.
(Jen Note: I know you realize I do not bill this as a lose-weight blog, but the facct of the matter is, weight is a central part of a fat chick’s life, whether it’s a positive or negative influence. In that vein, Dr. J.R. Paine is here with a guest post for the book Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen.)
“Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen”
Dr. J. R. Paine, D.SC., and Professor Dr. S. N. Gupta, Ph.D.
From 1956 to 2006, a span of half a century, we along with the world watched as a trickle of obesity and 32 obesity related diseases turned into a Tsunami of obesity and disease over 50 short years.
Data released by the Office of the U.S. Surgeon General, The Department of Health and Human Services, the Federal Drug Administration, The American Medical Association, the World Health Organization and many other federal and private organizations showed that in 2006, nearly 97 million Americans were obese or overweight along with a billion people around the globe in affluent nations.
We knew from our extensive research that the human brain forms a million new connections for every second of our lives. It is in these changing connections that memories are stored, habits learned and personalities shaped. By reinforcing certain patterns of brain activity like desire for survival, health, vigor and vitality, and losing the craving for nutrient-poor, killer calorie-rich, high-fat, high-sugar and high-salt fatty FAST DELIVERY, FAST FOODS and fluids with FAST DELIVERY, FAST FACT knowledge nutrition for the brain, the obesity nightmare could be ended. The hands of the death clock that took the life of one American every 2 minutes could be slowed and finally stopped.
We realized that unexplored horizons in health and weight control are within our reach. We were inspired and considered it to be our duty to share our vast treasury of knowledge with our fellow human beings and to do all we could to open new doors and windows for millions of people carrying the heavy burden of failing health, overweight and obesity. We paid heed to the cry of Carrie Latet, who said “My fat scares me. It is a ticking time bomb.” “Health is like money, we don’t know its value until we lose it.”
Given our extensive scientific and health issues expertise and our access to the thinking of great minds throughout civilization, the two natural questions we asked ourselves were:
1. 30 million diets, diet companies, books, weight loss articles, magazines, websites plus trillions of words and billions of pages to end the obesity nightmare nationally and globally have done what?
The answer struck us with the force of a hurricane. All this output fanned the flames, disappointed desperate dieters, and sadly turned a trickle of obesity in 1956 into a Tsunami of obesity in 2006. Why? The authors discovered that the answer is misunderstood science and stubborn insistence by the “experts” that the MOUTH that created the obesity pandemic problem is also the solution. The Laws of Nature say NO – that is not the way humans are programmed.
2. 50 years of starvation, food deprivation, risky diet pills, hormonal injections. liposuctions, surgical procedures, Botox injections, punishing workouts, recipes, despair, pain, anger, and frustration have done what?
The answer again held little hope for the future of obesity and failing health. Turning health care, weight loss and personal care, breakfast, lunch and dinner time into a war with food, hunger pangs and agonizing cravings is not a solution. To add insult to injury, fat loss has become emotionally and physically stressful. In brief, dieting is a day time NIGHTMARE.
The billion dollar question was “How did we get into such a severe health and obesity crisis and how do we get out of it?” The answer is: (a) For 5 decades, we have had 100% easy access to FAST FOODS and (b) ZERO, ZIP access to FAST KNOWLEDGE!
For this reason, Mankind’s challenge over the past 50 years has been to innovate a DELIVERY SYSTEM for healthcare and weight loss knowledge that carries 24/7/365 edible FAST DELIVERY, FAST FACTS nuggets of knowledge nutrition (FOOD FOR THE BRAIN) to every refrigerator, kitchen counter, dinner table, TV set, desk, den, bedside table, in every home in America and across the world as quickly and easily as FAST FOOD FOR THE MOUTH. This challenge also required that this monumental innovation should be available to everyone at a COST so affordable that even the poorest amongst us can also afford it.
In “Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen”, Fat Loss E-School, Inc., and its sister company, Zero Obesity America, Inc. have met this 50-year-old challenge with its “astonishingly innovative” (Quote from New York Times best selling author Ellen T. Marsh), 24/7/365, FAST DELIVERY, HEALTH SAVER, OBESITY ERASER, FAST FACTS NUGGETS OF VITAL KNOWLEDGE NUTRITIONAL BODYGUARDS as well as its “thinking” and “talking” diet Pinups that FEED THE BRAIN VIA NON-STOP EZ2SLIM® VIRTUAL TUTORS, TRAINERS (Patent Pending) for JUST A DIME A DAY.
“Dear God, Let Me Lose fat, Amen” houses 40 of our ready to clip, frame and display FAST DELIVERY, FAST FACTS nutritional Bodyguards, personal trainers and diet talk Pinups. Keep these invaluable and indispensable personal trainers and nutrition consultants on the refrigerator door, kitchen counters, dinner table, TV set, desk, den, or wherever you need them, loaded with 30-second absorption capacity. The virtual personal trainers and tutors stay on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week for your lifetime. They never ask for a salary nor take a vacation. They are your dependable, loved fat loss friends.
I have admittedly been very lax in adding anything to this blog. That is blatantly obvious.
I think I tried to do too much with it there for a while. That doesn’t excuse abandoning it, though. And that is about to change.
I have started posting CFC-type articles on Hub Pages. There will be new, blog-exclusive content here starting tomorrow.
Finally home. Been here an hour & a half. Transcription to do (how UNfun) and repacking like a wild woman.
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